Top Ten Reasons Public School Did NOT Work For Our Family.
by Heather DiNino
original post 11/2/19
FIRST - AN IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER
** This is our story and only our story. This is not reflective of schools as a whole - but a (quite vulnerable) list of OUR personal experience.
** The school that my daughter attended is a wonderful school and her teacher was lovely. Our issues are with the system.
Top Ten Reasons Public School did NOT work for our family:
Not being able to eat, drink, and pee when your body is telling you to! Designated snack times, lunch times, and bathroom times build conditioning rather than build intuition. Teaching my kids to listen to their body is a cornerstone of my parenting. They learn to trust themselves and their mind/body connection.
Homework starting at 5 years old?! There is NO scientific research in this century to prove that homework enhances a child’s learning. In fact, to the contrary - current research proves homework to be ineffective and even detrimental to a child’s learning.
Besides the amount of trees being killed for the paper that is wasted at schools - imagine how much TIME is wasted for children to FILL OUT WORKSHEETS. Worksheets that teach everything from phonics to math to behavior. They even learn ‘test prep’ starting at age 5?!
Assigned seats. Desk seats. Table seats. Rug seats. SITTING with people you did not choose to sit with. And sitting in the same. spot. every. day. Not standing, not moving, not running, not stretching, but SITTING is how single-digit children are spending their day. (Oh, but don’t worry, they do a movement break here and there - so they’re not sitting ALLLLLL day. :: eye roll :: )
Being afraid. Afraid to go into school (especially alone!). Afraid to get in trouble. Afraid to disappoint. Why is fear creeping in so young?! Fear can be healthy if it is used to teach bravery and build emotional resilience. This, however, is difficult to do without TRUST. The majority of Public School Systems, in my eyes, are not doing a bang up job of building trust.
NOT WANTING to go to school. Is this the norm that we’re supposed to be ok with? Kids as young as five just trying to get through the day? This is not ok. If my daughter is spending over 1,000 hours/year at a place she doesn’t want to be, and countless other hours worrying about a place she doesn’t want to be, that’s a LOT of her childhood that should be spent full of living and learning.
Behavior: This might be the behaviorist in me speaking, but I think it’s mostly just my mama bear. My daughter spent her first 5 years observing people. She takes it all in - if you’ve ever met her, you know exactly what I mean. I don’t shelter her and I don’t lie to her - we’ve seen the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. And she never judged anyone. But then she began asking about things she heard/learned in school - full of judgement. There’s a big difference between judging and observing.
Any other allergy mamas out there?! My peanut-allergic kid was put at the… yup, you guessed it, peanut free table. She said she sat alone. Did she really? No, probably not. But she felt alone - and to me, that’s what matters. I’ve heard other parents complain about their children not having enough time to eat - my daughter actually asked me to pack her extra food because if she finished eating early she had no-one to talk to.
There is not enough time outside. Not NEARLY enough time outside. On a good day, the kids get 15 minutes of ‘recess’. In what world is that enough time to breathe fresh air, move your body, digest your food, connect with the outside world, and breathe fresh air? Did I mention kids need to breathe fresh air?! Not to mention that outside time is limited or nonexistent if it’s a half day, a rainy day, a snowy day, etc. You get my point. There is simply NOT enough time OUTSIDE.
Field trips, anyone? Ok, as a former teacher, I KNOW firsthand how difficult (and expensive) it can be to take kids on field trips. But this didn’t hit home until I realized that my daughter would spend all day every day inside the same building. This is not ok. Kids need to LIVE and experience and explore the community - beyond the four walls of the classroom.
This experience, though difficult, opened my eyes and lit a fire under me to create something better - for my daughter AND for other students who are (or were, at one point) full of joy, curiosity, and warmth. I will not settle. Education is too important to me. Life is too important.